Empathy, divorce and psychology: Insights from Alexander Kolmanovsky at Nobel Fest x Teachers’ Summit
This week, the Nobel Fest x Teachers’ Summit was held within the walls of Nazarbayev University in Astana. During one of the panel sessions renowned psychologist, Alexander Kolmanovsky, shared thought-provoking insights into relationships, family dynamics, and modern societal pressures, Kazinform News Agency reports.
What do men truly seek in relationships?
Kolmanovsky explored the age-old question of what men desire in their partners, offering a perspective rooted in psychology and emotional development. He framed it as a quest for “unconditional acceptance,” tracing this need to childhood experiences.
He painted a vivid picture: a three-year-old boy seeking solace in his mother, only to face judgment or reproach instead of understanding. This unmet need for open, non-judgmental acceptance carries into adulthood.
“For a man, the ideal partner is someone who can see his vulnerabilities, fears, and imperfections without judgment. This emotional safety, where he doesn’t need to showcase a polished image, is what truly matters,” Kolmanovsky explained. However, he added a broader principle: “Adopt this attitude toward everyone, and you’ll never go wrong.”
When is it time for divorce?
Kolmanovsky tackled the sensitive issue of divorce with clarity. For those contemplating separation, he offered a simple yet profound litmus test: certainty.
“If you’re still seeking advice—be it from a psychologist or a friend—it’s not time. Doubts signify that something alive still exists in the relationship. But if you’re unwavering in your decision and need no one’s counsel, that’s when it’s time to part ways,” he said.
On breaking the news to children, Kolmanovsky emphasized honesty and sensitivity. He urged parents to frame divorce as a shift in their relationship while maintaining a united front as co-parents and friends. “Children need to hear that their parents remain close, despite the change in marital status, to help mitigate the emotional trauma of divorce,” he advised.
The role of therapy in everyday life
Addressing the relevance of therapy, Kolmanovsky noted its universal value. He advocated for regular consultations not only for individuals but also for psychologists themselves. “Every professional psychologist needs a supervisor to reflect on their work. No one is entirely healthy or free from blind spots. A good therapist benefits everyone,” he asserted.
Beauty standards and social pressure
When asked about women undergoing cosmetic procedures to attract partners, Kolmanovsky empathized with their plight, acknowledging the societal pressures they face. He described this pursuit as often leading to pain and disillusionment, emphasizing that such women are not at fault for societal expectations that shape their choices.
Key takeaways
Kolmanovsky’s insights underscore the profound emotional complexities of relationships. In an era where societal expectations often overshadow personal truths, his message resonates as a call for empathy, authenticity, and self-awareness in all our relationships.
