Football transfer rumors: Robert Lewandowski to Liverpool?
Take Robert Lewandowski. Poland's No9 has allowed his team-mates to toil in the spotlight in order to make noises about a Premier League move to reunite with an old flame - but will it be Pep at Manchester City or, wait for it, Jürgen at Liverpool? City are also making eyes at the Switzerland full-back Stephan Lichtsteiner, which spells bad news for Aleksandar Kolarov. He could be off to Besiktas with Mario Balotelli, The Guardian reports.
Antonio Conte and André Gomes are spending their summer trapped inside the Euro 2016-transfer talk Venn diagram, and while the logical conclusion is that Mill mainstay Gomes will end up at Chelsea, Juventus and Barcelona are still sniffing around. Conte is also keen on the Italian playmaker Antonio Candreva, but then again, so are Inter, who also - stop me if you've heard this one - like the look of Yaya Touré.
In other uninspiring Euro 2016 titbits, Manchester United still want Germany's Julian Draxler, while Mauricio Pochettino, always one step ahead, is after Croatia's Milan Badelj. Crystal Palace's Alan Pardew likes the cut of Marko Arnautovic's jib, while David Alaba has launched a thousand blogposts by admitting to supporting Arsenal in his youth. The Dutch striker Vincent Janssen, who we keep forgetting isn't at the European Championship, is weighing up moves to Tottenham Hotspur or Wolfsburg.
Having let Sandro wander off, Barcelona have a free spot on their bench, with Nolito and Kévin Gameiro the leading candidates. West Ham United are busy preparing for the potential departure of Dimitri Payet to Real Madrid by lining up, er, Matt Ritchie in an £8m deal. The Hammers are also vying with Everton for 2012's next big thing, Milan's M'Baye Niang, and arranging a swap deal with West Bromwich Albion involving hot 2014-15 prospects Saido Berahino and Diafra Sakho.
Southampton are without a manager and start pre-season back on trusty square one but still the rumours fly. Ex-Roma man Rudi García is favourite to succeed Ronald Koeman and top of his in-tray is keeping Victor Wanyama away from Spurs. Second is tying up a deal for Bordeaux's Adam Ounas, a willowy French-Algerian winger. The Premier League should start engraving the trophy now, although the defending champions, Leicester City, are adding depth in the shape of Nice's Nampalys Mendy.
Before we go, how do you fancy a done deal? Are you sure? All right, fine. Anthony Stokes has joined Blackburn Rovers on a free transfer. Are you happy now?