Football transfer rumours: Dimitar Berbatov to Arsenal?

If Big Sam and West Ham do manage to wriggle their way out of danger, it'll probably be by plunging Fulham even deeper into trouble and one perfect way to do that will be to hijack the Cottagers' move for the Greek striker Kostas Mitroglu. West Ham may also finally get their clutches onJoleon Lescott provided Manchester City nab the Porto centre-backEliaquim Mangala, who could arrive at the Etihad along with another Porto player, the Brazilian midfielder Fernando. The Mill has actually seen that described as an "audacious" double swoop, which seems such a random choice of adjective that the paper that used it might just as easily have hailed the double swoop as "secluded" or "rectangular". After all, what is so audacious about the richest club in the universe chucking around some loose change to secure two highly coveted players? If you were looking for an appropriate adjective to describe those transfers, you could try "unnecessary", since neither play can play in the Champions League this season and City will win the Premier League title with or without them, Kazinform quotes the Guardian. Arsenal appear to know that to be true, which is why they, at least according to some reports, are going to buy no one today. Except maybe Dimitar Berbatov, assuming he can summon the zest required to write his name on a short-term deal. The Mill does not know what the Bulgarian's signature looks like these days but suspects it features a wonderfully ornate D, I and M and perhaps an elegant T, a rather casual A and R and then just a squiggle that seems to trail off with a weary sigh. Meanwhile, a nostalgic Harry Redknapp is sitting in the car park of Queens Park Rangers' training ground with his window down, desperately hoping that someone from Sky Sports News turns up and shows an interest in what he's up to today. For now, however, it's just Harry and a few pigeons nattering about Rod Fanni, who has decided to turn down a move to Loftus Road to stay at Marseille. How Joseph Barton wishes he could do the same. Meanwhile, Marseille are hoping to spend today wrapping up the signing from Lorient of none other than the former Arsenal striker Jérémie Aliadière. Yes, he's still playing. Nantes, meanwhile, want to sign Arsenal's Park Chu-young. Yes, he's still at Arsenal. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer's ongoing attempt to prove that Vincent Tan was right to replace a successful manager mid-season with a celebrity tyro could today involve Cardiff forking out to sign the Cagliari and the Italy defender Davide Astori. Manchester United's Nani is being pursued by Spurs and Internazionale. Meanwhile, the United youngster Ryan Tunnicliffe is en route to Fulham. Middlesbrough are eyeing up Wolves' former goal-getter Kevin Doyle.Joe Ledley is doing what Celtic cannot do, joining the Premier League, where he will help keep Crystal Palace. Finally, Leeds United appear to be ever closer to falling into the hands of Massimo Cellino, whose first move after completing his takeover could be to jilt Brian McDermott. His next move after that would be anyone's guess. The Mill isn't ruling out the team's kit being changed to orange jumpsuits and Elland Road turned into an upmarket barber shop.