Football transfer rumours: Mario Balotelli to Arsenal?

LONDON. KAZINFORM - There were few in the football and football kit manufacturing worlds not captivated by the audacious brilliance of a football team signing a football kit manufacturing deal with a football kit manufacturer, in order that the football kit manufacturer might manufacture the football team's football kit. As the song goes: "Good old Arsenal, we're proud to sing that name and crow about business deals as though we've won a trophy, when we've done no such thing in nine years."
None
None

And the brand synergy between Arsenal and Puma simply cannot be criticised, decent names which look pretty enough, but ones that are taken seriously only by those connected to them, who take them incomprehensibly seriously. As such, it is no great surprise to discover that Puma, thoroughly overcome with and by themselves, are not only attempting to shovel Mario Balotelli to London, but offering to finance part of the deal. This is, of course, because he is precisely the player the Arsenal need - that they sponsor him, too, is nothing but a remarkable and happy coincidence.

More shockingly still, Ashley Cole might leave Chelsea and return to Arsenal, Kazinform refers to The Guardian. We know this, because once, in 2006, Arsène Wenger semi-joked that he would not be averse to buying him should he need a left-back, and currently, he only has Nacho Monreal and Kieran Gibbs for that position. And should Cole be inspired to do one, there might be a vacancy on the other flank, too - Bacary Sagna, out of contract in the summer, has been offered a two-year extension and no pay rise, when he is believed to require a three-year extension and, yes, enormous pay rise.

Elsewhere, Juventus and Internazionale are still keen on starting something with Nani, whose position at Manchester United is not black or white. It is thought that Poordavid Moyes is inclined towards advising him to beat it, but human nature is causing him to second guess himself. The problem is that he can remember the time when Nani was good - but also his propensity to be really, really bad.

And United are similarly still swithering over a different Portuguese - Sporting Lisbon's William Carvalho. Showing the same decisiveness that has already landed him Thiago Alcântara and Nemanja Matic, Moyes has had the player watched eight times this season, but for some reason is still unsure as to whether he might improve his team's midfield - despite his being a midfielder.

Thirty miles away, at Liverpool, they're still banging on about Kop hero Yevhen Konoplyanka. Supporters are upset at the club's inability to complete the deal, after manufacturing a banner bearing a long-winded and unfeasibly rousing testament to his great deeds - and the good news is that he is now expected to sign in the summer instead. "A thousand per cent sure that Liverpool will attempt to buy Yehven in the summer," reckons Andriy Rusol, Dnipro executive director and keen mathematician. "And with plenty of experience in dealing with our club, that will make it more organised and likely to succeed." Ian Ayre has since promised that never again will he forget Rusol's title when addressing him, and apologised for any offence caused to the Intergalactic Commander of the Universe.

Back in London, John Terry is expected to initial a one-year extension to his Chelsea contract in the coming weeks. But he is not expected to end his international retirement, despite the excellence of his recent form.

Currently reading